Unworthy

I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness You have shown me. - Genesis 32:10

Jacob, the "supplanter," lived the first half of his life getting ahead through manipulation and deceit. Even though we may only guess at the exact moment when his life dramatically changed (and his faith was reckoned as righteousness), his words above reveal a moment of awakening where Jacob surely understood the abundant grace he had received from God. What are the significant indicators that inform this understanding?

First, Jacob grasped that he was unworthy of God's unfailing (covenant) love and faithfulness. Though Jacob had wavered in his devotion, God never had. Second, Jacob acknowledged that God's love and faithfulness had been the two crucial elements of his own preservation and blessing. While his scheming may have worked practically for a time, true victory would only be achieved God's way. Third, Jacob realized that God's love and faithfulness were not abstract concepts, but rather they were present and historical realities. While they "felt" right, they also made things "right" practically. Finally, Jacob understood that only God could have made it all happen and he worshiped the Almighty.

Anyone who has ever wished to be rescued from themselves (today, tomorrow, or even hundreds of years in the past) must begin as Jacob did. Unworthy.

As long as I see any thing to be done for God, life is worth having; but O how vain and unworthy it is to live for any lower end! - David Brainerd